Solid Gold Rule

Gary Chapman’s books based on what he calls the “Five Love Languages” indicate that individuals perceive love in different categories or “languages.” The languages are physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and words of affirmation. Recently I was talking with a friend who was lamenting that her spouse usually speaks to her in his own love language, and rarely in hers, which is different from his. Part of the lament was based on the idea that the spouse knew hers was different, but wasn’t acting in line with the difference.

I thought about Jesus in Matthew 7 saying that whatever we want others to do for us should be what we do for them (verse 12). The “what we want others to do” includes that they do it in line with “what we want,” and that the “do for them” should, therefore, include what they want.

If you are in any relationship, from parenting to marriage to coworkers, learning how to bring blessing to others includes learning something about the language they interpret relationships through. You could be making great sacrifices in your language, and the result could be valueless in their language. Agape finds out what blesses its target and then hits the target. Love one another.